Why You Should Go On A Solo Date

We’ve all been on dates and whether you love or loathe them we all know that that can be a really great way to get to know someone better. But when was the last time you took yourself on a date? You did all the pre-work of making yourself feel great and then you just took yourself out. Maybe you tried a new restaurant that you’ve been looking at for a while or finally went to the show that no one else really fancied going to. Until relatively recently it’s something that I had never really considered doing. Yes, I quite like my own company (something that I have grow to enjoy more in the past year) but usually it consists of me sitting at home doing nothing. Instead, recently I’ve been taking myself to do the things I enjoy, just for me.

I’ll admit, when I first heard of the concept I did a bit of an eye roll, but you know what? It’s actually a really nice thing to do, and something I have become a real advocate for. It’s not news to anyone that we’re all busy. Making time for ourselves can feel increasingly difficult and often having a day free in your diary can just fill you with a feeling of guilt more than joy. That taking time for yourself and doing the things you like is a true luxury and can only be done once everything is ticked off the to-do list. Well guess what, your to-do list is never going to be totally completed, if you’re anything like me you’ll always find a way to add something else onto the end. Taking the time to do the things we love though isn’t a luxury, it’s essential to keep us all happy and functioning. So instead of just blocking out random day’s here and there and trying (but more often than not failing) to keep them clear I started scheduling date nights with myself. Just like I would with my boyfriend.

Blocking the time out and planning to do something a little different with is has held me more accountable to actually doing the thing I say I’m going to do. It’s also been the perfect excuse to actually go and do the things I want to do. Recently I took myself off the the V&A for the Christian Dior Exhibition and after I went for a bite to eat. It was lovely. I could spend as long as I liked perusing the designs, I could eat whatever I fancied afterwards and I didn’t have to be concerned with anyone else’s schedule or whether they were enjoying themselves. Don’t get me wrong, doing those things on a regular date is hardly something I find taxing, but not even having to give it a second thought was kind of freeing. It helps you to hone in on exactly what it is that you enjoy and find relaxing.

There’s also something important about spending that time on your own, just you and your thoughts. I know for some people that prospect can seem terrifying, but it’s true what they say, when you’re on your own you get to know yourself better. I firmly believe that the most important relationship that you have is the one that you have with yourself, so you need to put the work in. It’s not always comfortable and can often feel intimidating but it’s important. Whether you don’t particulary like your own company or maybe you just feel a bit awkward doing things on your own - I still don’t like eating in restaurants alone for anything more than a quick snack for example - I still think it’s something important to overcome and to try and find the enjoyment in. I’ve found that through making these little dates with myself it’s been a much more appealing and easier way to spend some time with myself and get to know myself a little better.

Taking yourself on a solo date is also a brilliant way to encourage yourself to step outside your comfort zone and do the things you want to do without waiting around for someone else. I know that over the years I have put off doing so many things I wanted to do because I didn’t have anyone to go with. Ultimately I know I like to experience things with other people, I like being able to reminisce about trips and discuss a movie after I’ve seen it. But that isn’t to say that it isn’t still fun to do things on your own. I often find myself in the dilemma of wanting to do something like see a new movie, but not having someone to go with. The number of films I’ve wanted to see but didn’t because I was worried about going on my own and looking lonely is ridiculous, it’s not even like you talk in the cinema anyway. As a result, seeing new movies has been one of my solo-date trips. Sometimes this is in the cinema or sometimes I turn my front room into the cinema, renting a movie I’ve wanted to see for ages, making some popcorn and turning my phone off. I also find scheduling in an actual movie start time helps to stop me from getting distracted by other things, something that can be a bit of a risk if you stay home for your date. Since I made this change I’ve started to see so many other films and guess what, if you like it and think someone else you know will you can always re-watch it, you don’t have to feel like you’ve missed out on that.

Taking yourself out for a date on your own is just another layer of the self care cake as far as I’m concerned. It’s not only making time for yourself but it’s also treating yourself to something that you will enjoy and get some kind of growth from, whether you’re spending money of a day trip or just staying in. It can feel a little strange at first, but as soon as you give it a go I have no doubt that you’ll love it. I try to fit in a date every 6-8 weeks. I find that means I can afford to do something a little nicer if I want to but also that I can find a balance between taking time for myself and also doing all the other things that I need to do in the week. We can all find distractions wherever we look nowadays so making sure you make the time to do something nice with yourself is often either side-lined or we feel like we don’t have time. In reality, you probably do have the time if you just add up all those hours in a month that you spend mindlessly scrolling through your phone. Not only is it more fun but I have no doubt that you’ll get more out of it than you do when you’re scrolling through your phone.